Loving Yourself and Others in Relationships: Metta
Loving, healthy relationships include loving, healthy individuals.
Metta, in Pali, means loving kindness and positive energy toward others. Also called Maitri, in Sanskrit, it is a popular meditation to cultivate love, compassion, and kindness towards oneself and others. It has also been described as a prayer. Metta meditation can be chanted or said silently, and done as an individual or in a group. There are many versions, but one that is commonly used is:
May I be happy.
May I be healthy.
May I be safe.
May I live with ease.
The next steps generally consist of extending it to loved ones, neutral persons, people with whom you have difficulty, and last to all beings. It can serve as a daily practice, and I have seen it be helpful when someone is worried, ruminating, or feeling down. An example for tailoring it to your life could be:
May I be happy.
May I be healthy.
May I be safe.
May I live with ease.
May my child be happy.
May my child be healthy.
May my child be safe.
May my child live with ease.
May my partner be happy.
May my partner be healthy.
May my partner be safe.
May my partner live with ease.
May my pet be happy.
May my pet be healthy.
May my pet be safe.
May my pet live with ease.
May my boss be happy.
May my boss be healthy.
May my boss be safe.
May my boss live with ease.
May all beings be happy.
May all beings be healthy.
May all beings be safe.
May all beings live with ease.
Consistent with how metta meditation begins with loving kindness toward oneself, it's important to recognize that healthy relationships include healthy individuals. It is critical, not selfish, for you to wish and allow yourself to be happy, healthy, safe and at ease. Of course, no person has all of these all of the time. But learning how to be kind, compassionate, and loving toward oneself, especially during times of stress is the foundation to extending love and kindness to others.
If you would like to explore how to be more kind to yourself during trying times, or how to be more loving in your relationships, reach out. We can explore how online therapy together might work for you. In the meantime, I wish you happiness, good health, safety, and ease.
