Feeling guilty because you yelled at your kid?

Did you apologize?

Parents in my practice regularly express shame and guilt over their foibles as parents. They yell at their kids, were the only parent who missed the class outing, didn’t have the energy or resources to throw a birthday party at school and at home, and the list goes on.  They struggle to balance an intense love for their children, pressure from unrealistic expectations (Pinterest, Instagram, ahem!), too many responsibilities and too few resources to manage all of the tasks of work, home, and family. Not to mention their own human needs to eat, sleep, exercise, connect, and hear themselves think. That's right, parents are human too.

Here’s the thing. Parent’s can’t do it all. And they shouldn’t. Instead of holding the guilt and shame inside, my clients feel seen and validated to know they aren’t alone or falling short. I work with them to process areas of shame and guilt. One thing that you can do that my clients express finding helpful: apologizing when you are wrong. That's right, parents can and do apologize! Perhaps what you said was okay but how you said it was off. Can you model a sincere apology to and for your child? Maybe you wish you could make it to the baseball game. Can you validate for your child (and yourself) how much you also wish you could go, that you also are sad  to miss it (without having the child take care of you emotionally), and that you would like some fun and quality time with your child?

You are human. You will make mistakes and you will fall short of expectations, those you hold for yourself and that others hold for you. Fortunately, you will have the chance to model lots of validating, apologizing, and reconnecting. This is a real relationship and your kid is getting to see the person they love most model healthy communication and being attuned. You’ve got this. For more ideas on what this would look like, or how to do it with your child, reach out.

If you’d like more ideas for strong relationships or processing your experiences, I’m happy to help there as well. Whether online therapy throughout Georgia, or an in-person outdoor session in the Athens, Watkinsville, or Braselton Georgia aresa, reach out. The burnout and stress of motherhood is hard, no need to go it alone.